July 6

My brother was peacefully reading when we heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" we shouted.



Look who finally decided to show up. And yes, dad had dragged her in the room. "Sierra," he said firmly, "what do you have to say to your brother?"
She didn't say anything, but then again she didn't have to. She was completely unrepentant.
The other day I overheard my parents talking about sending Sierra to either Fort Starch military academy, where AJ went, or to this other place, Salty Springs, a therapeutic ranch facility for troubled teens.



Meanwhile, standing off to the side, mom was on the phone with someone. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but what I heard went something like this, "Uh, huh. Yeah, sure. Ok. I'll call you later, I'm at the hospital with my son. Ok, we'll talk about it later. Bye."



She proceeded to yell at me for making dad take her here to the hospital.
"AJ has asked about you, constantly. Why wouldn't you want to see your brother?"
"I don't care!" she said in a voice that made me know immediately that she was lying.



"AJ?" mom announced when she got off the phone. "The doctor says you're going home tomorrow. They can't find anything physically wrong with you and have chalked your illness up to stress. I don't think you should be joining the military."
"But I want to, mom."
"I'm just, you know, I'm not sure if it's an option for you right now. Maybe sometime in the future but not now. Perhaps you can take it easy for awhile, go to your counseling sessions, and go to that facility in Shang Simla that Dr. Bill wants --"
"I'm sick of facilities and treatment centers! I just -- you know -- I just want to be normal."
What AJ said broke my heart and I started to cry.
"You are normal," my mom reassured him. "But you know, sometimes, even normal people need help coping with things. It's not a sign of weakness. I had a hard time dealing with that myself. I promise you, AJ, once you're done with Shang Simla -- you'll never be the same."
Mom started telling this story about what happened when she encountered martial arts and yoga. "I still do the yoga breathing techniques on occasion. They're very relaxing and I think you'd benefit from them, AJ."

Later...



"Salty Springs?" Sierra asked me.
"You don't have a choice," I said sadly. "The fact, Sierra, is that you are out of control. I'm worried about you. You're my little sister and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. It's either there or Fort Starch, and frankly, I don't want you to go there."
"You know, Sage, it's always what YOU want. Every time I hear my parents talk, it's Sage this, Sage that, Sage the other. Everyone thinks you're so perfect and I'm just, you know, a leftover. Does anyone even think about what I want, what I do?"
"Sierra, that's crazy, of course we think about what you want and what you do. It's just that lately you haven't been thinking about anything else except yourself. AJ's been in the hospital nearly a week and today is the first time you even show your face here, and that's only because dad made you come. Your attitude is just as horrible as it's been since you turned teen."
"You're not my mom."
"No, Sierra, I'm not your mom. But I love you just the same. I want you to be happy. What can I do to make you happy?"